The Fire Eaters
by D. M. Evans
Summary: Whatever Roy can do, Ed can do better. Just ask him.


Title- The Fire Eaters

Disclaimer- Arakawa owns all

Warning- silliness

Summary- Whatever Roy can do, Ed can do better. Just ask him.

XXX

"Was it too much to ask for a nice, quiet vacation in the city?" Winry rubbed her eyes, wishing she could concentrate on the street vendors in Central's Little Xing.

Alphonse's eyebrows rose. "Did you just say quiet in a sentence referring to my brother?"

"It's hot out. It must have melted my mind." Winry shot Al a withering look but he had a point. When had Ed been anything but loud?

"It's not all Edward's fault." Riza waved Winry over to look at some Xingese jewelry. "The colonel eggs him on."

Alphonse snorted.

"It's like a competition to see who's the biggest jackass," Winry said, picking up a cinnabar bracelet carved with phoenixes and dragons. It was beautiful. Ed should get it for her for acting like he was five.

"Winry!" Al laughed then exchanged a glance with Riza.

In unison they said, "It's a tie."

Winry just wagged her head and Riza bought a pendant with a porcelain teardrop painted with a lapis lazuli phoenix. "Where are they now?"

Al pointed down the street to where Roy and Ed were gesturing wildly at each other in front of a food stand. "You ladies might want to rein them in."

Wirny sighed and stalked down the street. Riza seemed cool as always. She did have more experience dealing with the two men together, after all. When they got closer, she could hear them arguing over, which one could handle spicy food better. Winry didn't want to know why this was a bone of contention. The answer would probably make her weep then kick them both in the seat of their pants.

"I'm telling you, Shortmetal, this isn't for you." Roy leaned against the stand, in a jaunty pose. Was he flirting with the girl working it with Riza standing there? Oh, right, she was probably one of his 'sisters.' Winry remembered Al telling her about it.

"I'm almost as tall as you now." Ed rolled his eyes. "And anything you can do, I can do better."

"I'm just telling you this for your own good. You are not on my level when it comes to spicy Xingese food."

"Put your cens where your mouth is."

"Brother, maybe you should listen to Roy. I've been to Xing," Al said and the face he made caused Winry to wonder what passed as spicy to the Xingese.

Ed waved him off and slapped Roy's arm. "Go ahead, do your worse, General Jackass."

"Huan, two of the pork noodle bowls please." Roy told the girl.

Winry took a seat at the table in the alcove with Riza and Al. Roy and Ed came over with their noodle bowls. It looked innocuous enough though the scent of it tickled her nose. The clear noodles had a pile of minced pork on it and a forest of onion greens.

"You have to stir it up from the bottom." Roy demonstrated with the chop sticks.

Ed glared at the wooden utensils. Winry had no idea how he'd manage to eat a slippery noodle with them. And for that matter since when did Ed eat noodles? He had always hated them. Was proving he could do something better than Roy mean that much to him? Winry felt uneasy as Ed stirred. A pungent red oil bubbled up from below and long, red peppers surfaced as did a strange black paste. Roy neatly pinned some noodles, shoveling them into his mouth. Ed chased his around the bowl.

Al got up and came back with a cheap wooden fork. He handed it to his brother. "You're going to regret this."

"I like spicy," Ed replied.

At the first mouthful, his eyes widened and began to water.

"You okay, Edward?" Roy asked, looking so smug Winry wanted to stab him with a chopstick.

"Fine," Ed rasped, taking another mouthful, never taking his eyes off Mustang who ate like he was having bland pudding.

By the third mouthful, Ed drooled a little, sweat breaking out all over his very red face. Winry dabbed a finger into the thick red oil, tasting it. She instantly regretted it. Apparently Roy had ordered liquid fire. Riza shook her head at Winry.

"Isn't it delicious?" Roy popped a red chili into his mouth. "The pork is marinated in the red chili oil. The bean paste is called…well, let's just say it translates to blistering bean paste. The broth is filled with red chilies and onions with raw garlic put in at the last and of course, more red chili oil."

"Brother, I don't think you should be that shade of red." Al nudged Ed.

"I can do this." Ed took another much smaller bite then pushed the bowl aside. "Damn it, fuck this shit."

"Does that mean I win?" Roy chuckled. "I think it escaped your notice, Edward but I'm part Xingese. I've been eating this stuff since I was a kid."

"I hope it burns your asshole on the way out." Ed sulked.

"Now I know where Roy's fire comes from," Winry said.

Al pulled the bowl to him then took a small vial out of his pocket. "Huan gave me this. The Imperial hot sauce to give this bowl some real heat." He grinned.

Roy pushed his bowl to Al. "You are an excellent man, Alphonse. Put a few drops in!"

"I got addicted to it in Xing." Al dropped in the sauce so pungent that it burned Winry's nose from where she sat.

Ed's jaw dropped as Al stirred it in with the chop sticks and took a healthy bite.

Winry threw her hands up and left the table. "I give up. You're all insane. I'm going shopping? Want to join me, Riza?"

Riza smiled. "Now you're learning how to handle them."

Winry nodded. She's just let the big idiots explode and be sure she was at a safe distance.


End file.
